Monday, December 22, 2008

the semester is OVER!!!

the Fall 08 semester is officially over! hooray! It was a good semester....interesting semester...semester filled with lots of ups and downs...but its over and next semester starts anew :-)

now to sit back and relax at home for 3 weeks with family and friends....oh yeah...and with my script for my one-act play im directing in the spring...well, almost all fun and no work ;-)

hope everyone's semester ended well and you enjoy your break!!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

behind the words of "whatever"

As much as I don't want to, I do
As much as I would like it to mean as little to me as it does to you, it probably doesn't
As much as I would like things to be different, I know they never will

So go on doing what you do
Go on liking whom you like
Your feelings now will be your feelings always
Join the club; it's happened before

I know the game, and I know the rules
Some people always win, while others aren't so lucky

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

time flies...

i should really write a new about the things on my mind...

i will do that...sometime on the soonish :-)

Monday, November 17, 2008

why do these things intregue me so?

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN people right now.
1. You have a huge heart, stay strong!
2. You've changed, but i hope your journey leads you to yourself.
3. I miss you alot
4. I wish we were closer.
5. Thank you for everything
6. You hurt me, and i wish i fully understood.
7. You have given up caring.
8. Im sorry.
9. Im glad we can be open about things, even though some of that openness isnt easy
10. Im sorry I suck at showing whats inside sometimes.

NINE things about yourself.
1. I am very self conscious
2. The future freaks me out!
3. I regret
4. My faith and full reliance on God has its ups and downs
5. I have put up walls that im afraid will be hard to break down
6. Nature's beauty awes me every day
7. I am impatiently waiting
8. I wish i was less of a follower (in some cases)
9. I believe that "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"

EIGHT ways to win your heart.
1. The little things mean the most
2. Be able to hold a conversation not only about the important things, but about the silly nonsense too.
3. Give me butterflies.
4. The cute things you dont even realize you do
5. Show me you care about me for me
6. Sing to/with me, or play me a song
7. Earn my full trust
8. Love

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot.
1. The future
2. How i am viewed
3. Home
4. Boys
5. the past
6. meaning
7. sleep

SIX things you do before you fall asleep.
1. Set my alarm
2. Brush my teeth
3. Check FB/email
4. Think about the day, or the morrow
5. look at the mess that is my desk
6. find a comfortable cozy spot

FIVE people who mean a lot to you at the moment.
1. Courtney
2. Adam
3. Amber
4. Kristopher
5. Leah

FOUR things you really enjoy doing.
1. Theatre
2. Laughing with close friends
3. Learning (not necessarily just school learning)
4. Being in the arms of someone who cares about you

THREE things you absolutely hate:
1. Feeling used or unwanted
2. There are only 24 hours in a day
3. The devil...haha :-P ?

TWO places you want to travel to that you've never been before.
1. Chicago
2. Overseas (period, not picky enough to care at the moment) yay piper tour!! THIS summer!

ONE confession.
1. Most people mean more to me than I show them they do...Its hard for me to show

Sunday, November 16, 2008

...there are much better things to blog about i know...

If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else right now, do you think they would be mad?
hahaha...i highly doubt that

How do you know the last person you were in a car with? was kaity and courtney...different ways...

Where were you at 10:17 pm last night?
hmmm...watching 13 going on 30...kinda....and probably listening to courtney read cosmo

Besides this, what are you doing right now?
talking to kris and prolonging needed sleep.

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
No sir!

Who did you last piss off?
i would like to think nobody

Who gave you advice recently?
courtney?? maybe...

What is something you disliked about your day?
im sure there was...but obviously nothing worth remembering

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night

Someone just handed you $100,000. Now what?
3,000 would go straight to my PIPER campaign in the summer...then i would probably really love to pay school loans...and after good causes...

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh?
most of the time, yes...its rather easy

What's been different this year?
i didnt go home this summer, i lived in searcy....

Meet anyone new this year?
yep yep. sure did!

What was the last thing you drank?

Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
yes! and he is great...friends of the opposite sex are sometimes the best

Did you have a dream last night?
Yeah...most was one part i couldnt breath in my dream. but its fine

Did you get anything off your chest today?
nope, too bad

What are you thinking about right now?
haha, what i didnt get off my chest...

Who would you do anything for?
obviously there are some things you just CANT do for people...but...if i had the ability, i would try to help anyone i could

Last place you hugged someone?
third floor of shores between my room and courtneys room

Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
real talking?...adam?

Is there anything stressing you out currently?

Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
yes...and i seem to be learning the same lesson...

Who are you missing the most right now?
mary maybe

Who was the first person you talked to today?
courtney and kaity

What are you NOT looking forward to?

Do you plan on moving out of your parents house next year?
we shall year is my last at school...EK!

How late did you stay up last night and why?
1:30 ish....having fun with friends

Is there any meaning behind your profile song?
blogs can have profile songs?

Can you keep a secret?

Do you wish on 11:11?
I hope on 11:11 (i stole this answer...but its true)

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
Not at all!

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
My roommate is in here right now

Who's the most annoying person you know?
haha...depends on the day ;-) ... but really i dont know

Do you know someone with the same birthday as you?

If your ex called you right now, would you answer?
of course, we are still cool

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past month?

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
Yeah. A few, apart from the friends.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with M?
in fact i have

When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
if by really hard you mean all day; about three weeks into the semester...

Who took your profile picture?
Leah's computer!

What's on the schedule for tomorrow?
class and lets hope spring sing call backs!

Do you want someone dead?

Do you miss anyone?
im sure i do...there are always friends i never see and would love to

Do you listen to your friends' advice when they give it to you?
Ssometime. Depends on how bad I want the complete opposite.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
pushed two chairs together to make a bed :-D

Would you rather get up earlier or sleep in?
sleep in

Do you trust people?
sometimes too easily; even though life has taught me not to

When was the last time you had your hair cut?

Is the last person you made out with mad at you?
dont think so

Will this Friday be a good one?
lets hope so, then comes thanksgiving break!!

Can you read other people's expressions?
haha...i wish i was as good as others...but depending the person

When was the last time something bothered you?

Have you ever stayed in a hotel?
Several times...honestly, who hasnt??

How did you feel when you woke up today?
just dandy

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
from the start of "chicago" till right after the song "funny hunny"

What's in your pocket?
not a thing

Where did you buy the shirt(s) you're wearing now?
in the front lawn. ENCOURAGE!

What are you listening to?
sadly roommate is sleeping

Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
its crossed my mind

Last female you slept in the same room with?

Do you get along with your mom?

How have you felt today?
cozy, tired, ignored, energized...its been an eventful day

Do you know if anyone likes you?
unfortunately i think not. such is life

Friday, October 31, 2008

i love fall

where to begin??

these past couple weeks have been really good. i've been able to hang out with friends i havent really been able to this semester much, and make new friends. and it has been good. i've been happy. which is good, because alot of this semester has been a state of contentment (at best).

tonight and the past couple nights i've kinda been in a slump again, but im trying to stay out of it and keep spirits high. i've been letting something bother me that i shouldnt be letting bother me. i just need to remind myself to love life and love god.

besides that though, tonight was halloween!! it was pretty fun. i got to watch most of the rocky horror picture show. haha, funny times. then i met some friends for the Seminoles stomp; which was AWESOME! derek was the president, so he was leading the pledges, and he was so fun to watch, and all the pledge boys were fun and got into it. it was enjoyable. then after that some of us went and threw fruit loops all over a friends front yarn. haha. that was funny. now im home ready to start tomorrow. tomorrow some friends are going to amber's house to hang out and play wii and maybe 4-wheel and eat dinner and star gaze and fun stuff like that. im excited! it should be a good weekend :-)

school is....well, school. going way to fast for my taste...but, oh well. its crazy how you want school to speed by before you graduate highschool...and now that college is here, i want it to slow down...but i think the slowing down part is mainly for the social side of college...

OH! we had a local piper tour thursday. that went really well!! such a good first day tour, and we had some awesome kids and good good stuff happen at shows. tuesday we leave for our week of fall tour, which is so much school and stuff to miss...BUT it should be a good tour. we are going to memphis and nashville and should be fun!

it feels like i had more i wanted to write....
like, about the weather and how i LOVE everything about fall!!!!

but im not sure ;-)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Psalm 37:3-7

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."

Mary put this at the bottom of her email she sent me. I looked it up. I was awed at God.

I have stayed in contact with Mary while she has been in India, and even from there she has been an inspiration and an amazing friend that I love dearly. So she knows about the things going on in my life, and knows what I need to hear. But this verse is EXACTLY what has been on my heart a lot lately and is what I have been praying for strength to be able to do, and reminding myself throughout the day to try and live.

God is good.

Thank you Mary, and thank you God.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

why do people change?

why cant people keep the same great qualities they have at one time possessed...i know that changing is some areas is good and necessary, and that life experiences shape us and we are constantly being molded...but why cant some of our pieces harden and stay as they are? especially when some of those pieces were better before than they are now...

friends are changing, i am changing, life is changing...sometimes its good; but other times i would just like it to stop

Monday, September 22, 2008

long drives and late night talks

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
--1st Peter 5:10

After a small venting text message to my lovely friend kevin about the array of emotions i was going through at the time, he sent me this scripture. and for that i am thankful.
This past week i have really tried to give all my emotions and "baggage" to God. Whenever i get really bogged down with everything going on in my head right now i have tried to remember to just say a small prayer and release it to him. Sometimes this is hard, and i feel like instead of those emotions getting released up to god they get bottled inside and (like tonight) need to be released. So i went for a drive, and text kevin, and that is the first part of what he sent me. and it just reminded me that god is still there. and i thank kevin for always reminding me that god is still there.

after driving tonight i went to the colvins house and adam offered me icecream (which i accepted) and we tried to work on bible homework. got most of the reading i needed to do done, but we mostly ended up talking the whole time. most of it was silly meaningless stuff; but as i was reading the book for bible ("more ready than you realize") we started having more meaningful conversation about god and faith and church and life...and it was really nice. we talked about that till it was time for curfew...i enjoyed it. i like talking about things the mean something in life.

anyway. that was my night. a little harder than the past few, but good in their own way.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

numb might be better than this

sunday my heart broke just a bit...

something unexpected happened...something i definitely did not see coming...

something that hurt...maybe more that i thought it would as well...but then again, maybe not...

today was better than yesterday and im sure tomorrow will be better than today. im healing and living life like i can. i know god is there, just its really hard to see the lesson learned right now. right now i am pretty sure i could have gone without this pain...i dont know. i just have to put everything in him. which i am constantly learning how to do...

right now i just need his strenght and feel his arms around me, letting me know it will be ok...

and thank you for all of my absolutely amazing friends that have been there for me. i truely have the best friends ever. even the ones that arent here physically have sent their love, and i know things will be ok...eventually...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

thoughts while waiting

We had piper call backs today and we picked the new members for our troupe afterward and we decided on two amazing guys!!! i am super excited to start this year, it is going to be a good one. (of course i am sad that some people didnt make it, because everyone who got called back was awesome and are really great people...but you cant have a troupe of 20 people. just doesnt work).

anyway. soooo yeah. that was very exciting. and pretty much the only exciting thing that has happened this weekend.

its raining really really hard right now and the wind is blowing like crazy...hurricane ike...tisk tisk...i just looked, and its actually NOT raining much, the wind is just going crazy.

right now i am waiting for matty key to call me...silly boy who is polite and doesnt like talking on the phone when he is chillin with a group of friends...a group of friends i wish i could be chillin at starbucks with too cause i love and miss them all...but i would like to speak with my boyfriend before i go to bed. which might be soon because im tired and i have church in the morning...

lets see...courtney came and hung out in my room for a little while tonight. i enjoyed that. i like hanging out with courtney...

i have a lighting design test tomorrow. first one. im kinda nervous. all that we have talked about so far is electrical theory and electrical stuff like that...which i am not completely lost on...but...yeah. i dont know. sometimes i feel out of my league in that class...but after talking with Lynn, i think thats just me. i probably just freak out about things for no reason... :-)

i have a few time consuming things to do tomorrow...not really alot of things i dont think...but time consuming. because those things involve reading...i told katie i would hang out with her tomorrow...i dont know if that is going to happen or not...maybe if i go over to her apartment to study lighting design with adam katie and i can have some time to talk and catch up...but not lots probably...we shall have to see and hope for the best. i feel bad cause i dont get to see her very much anymore. and i want to, i really do. but i am busy, and i dont always feel like going out after getting off work. i feel like eating and then doing some homework and yeah. chilling in my living room. hopefully as the year progresses i will be able to see her more. and when the musical is over i wont have work for that will give me about 6 or more extra hours a week. thats nice!

thats about all

Thursday, September 11, 2008

2 down 2 to go

Yet another year of school at Harding University has started....

so far so...busy...
but good.

There is alot of stuff going on right now and with the level of tiredness i have and the music leah has playing in the back ground im not really sure if i can complete this blog as first hoped...

but i will get to it soon and very soon.
i am actually going to be in town this weekend (first so far). so i SHOULD have time to do a little internetting (since i honestly have had close to no time on the computer so far). but i cant make any promises considering the reason i havent been able to post a blog yet is because of the amount of time i do NOT have right now...

and its only the third week of school...

oh my life...