its always great to find out you dont really have the good friends you thought you had
oh well
not like i did anything to help the matter
this semester...just stole everything except my last breath
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
friends
soooo i just sometimes want to talk to people again. .... not people in general...specific people that i just miss talking to sometimes
oooooo life
oh wells.
also, i have decided that i dont want to make another blog for the 4th year...so this is about to be 3rd and 4th...blogger can just get over it
:-P
oooooo life
oh wells.
also, i have decided that i dont want to make another blog for the 4th year...so this is about to be 3rd and 4th...blogger can just get over it
:-P
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
uncertainties of life
there are so many
things you just wish you could know
wish you could be sure of
wish you could see more clearly
such is life i suppose
things you just wish you could know
wish you could be sure of
wish you could see more clearly
such is life i suppose
Friday, August 21, 2009
perhaps...
i was talking to a friend of mine the other day about being single and such and he said "maybe we are single because we arent ready yet. like the reason why you dont give a ten year old a ferrari"
i thought about that.
it made sense.
maybe we arent ready. or, maybe we are, but the person we are supposed to be with isnt.
and until we (or they) are ready its just a lonely waiting game.
relying on god.
praying that you and the other person out there will grow and become ready soon, so that you can end the loneliness and start a life together
a life of love; love given by god
...not saying that being single is awful and that being in a relationship makes life worth it. because thats just simply not true.
but when you feel like you are ready to start that journey; or at least get closer to it than you currently are; sometimes being single just simply sucks...
i thought about that.
it made sense.
maybe we arent ready. or, maybe we are, but the person we are supposed to be with isnt.
and until we (or they) are ready its just a lonely waiting game.
relying on god.
praying that you and the other person out there will grow and become ready soon, so that you can end the loneliness and start a life together
a life of love; love given by god
...not saying that being single is awful and that being in a relationship makes life worth it. because thats just simply not true.
but when you feel like you are ready to start that journey; or at least get closer to it than you currently are; sometimes being single just simply sucks...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
stuck in my head
"i go about my business, im doing fine. besides what would i say if i had you on the line? same old story not much to say. hearts are broken everyday"
lately i have been in such a jewel mood
lately i have been in such a jewel mood
Thursday, August 13, 2009
good summer days
today was good. one of those days summer was meant for.
slept in. (like everyday this week actually)
went to little rock with friends. while there we got to meet seth after getting back from his summer in GREECE!! that lucky duck. that was great. we ate at the wonderful red lobster as well :-) yummy yummy shrimp :-)
came back home and picked up courtney
watched some SYTYCD and then "when harry met sally" which has some of the cutest lines and best scenes ever in a film :-)
good times all around.
tomorrow i think its lake day!!!
and then driving home for a week before starting another semester :-)
slept in. (like everyday this week actually)
went to little rock with friends. while there we got to meet seth after getting back from his summer in GREECE!! that lucky duck. that was great. we ate at the wonderful red lobster as well :-) yummy yummy shrimp :-)
came back home and picked up courtney
watched some SYTYCD and then "when harry met sally" which has some of the cutest lines and best scenes ever in a film :-)
good times all around.
tomorrow i think its lake day!!!
and then driving home for a week before starting another semester :-)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
wonder
sooo at work there was something that i wanted to blog about....but i have now forgotten what that something is....
oh well
i just had two tacos...at 1 in the morning :-)
they were good
yay for taco bell still being open late in this town that shuts down at 10 :-)
oh well
i just had two tacos...at 1 in the morning :-)
they were good
yay for taco bell still being open late in this town that shuts down at 10 :-)
Monday, July 20, 2009
dear stephanie meyer
please fall back in love with writing edward's story and finish "midnight sun"
the first 264 pages are great and i would really appreciate knowing the rest of the story via him.
k thanks,
--a big fan--
the first 264 pages are great and i would really appreciate knowing the rest of the story via him.
k thanks,
--a big fan--
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
dear...
dear life.
why are you so expensive?
dear money.
i hate you.
with all my heart,
poor college student
why are you so expensive?
dear money.
i hate you.
with all my heart,
poor college student
Friday, June 26, 2009
summer things i miss
while i have been loving this summer, and i love spending it with my friends and in theatre and working...
i have really missed summer things like church camp and vbs and summer devos with a youth group every week.
i miss those great summer things :-/
one day we will be reunited...even if it means going to church camp with my kids..haha
...a long long time from now of course
i have really missed summer things like church camp and vbs and summer devos with a youth group every week.
i miss those great summer things :-/
one day we will be reunited...even if it means going to church camp with my kids..haha
...a long long time from now of course
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
why still?
even after almost a year, it still brings tears to my eyes...
why
even after knowing its probably for the best, it still makes me sad...
why
...remembering the past can suck
why
even after knowing its probably for the best, it still makes me sad...
why
...remembering the past can suck
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
passions...
i am doing a standardized patient thing for the PA program in the next couple of weeks where i act like a patient with certain conditions and the PA students get practice doing what they do. well, being there (and that walk in the science/math building) made me realize how much i really missed taking math and science classes. i really enjoyed that stuff. and one day i would love to be in the field of medicine. being a nurse or something in the medical field is something that i really want to do some day...
some day...
right now though, i cant pass up my passion of theatre. i really do love everything about this art. even the parts that i dont like i can find joy in...its crazy how much i want to be successful however i get involved!! i just spent way to much time looking at spring awakening feeds on youtube and everytime i watch theatre clips or behind the scenes things my passion is just fed. i LOVE it! it inspires me to take singing lessons, to take dance lessons, to work out and stay active and in shape, to audition and take every opportunity i can get! makes me want to give everything i have to any job or part i get; because there is no small part.
i pray that god gives me the chance to do what i dream of and what i love...
some day...
right now though, i cant pass up my passion of theatre. i really do love everything about this art. even the parts that i dont like i can find joy in...its crazy how much i want to be successful however i get involved!! i just spent way to much time looking at spring awakening feeds on youtube and everytime i watch theatre clips or behind the scenes things my passion is just fed. i LOVE it! it inspires me to take singing lessons, to take dance lessons, to work out and stay active and in shape, to audition and take every opportunity i can get! makes me want to give everything i have to any job or part i get; because there is no small part.
i pray that god gives me the chance to do what i dream of and what i love...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
harding
while walking through the science and bible building today for work i realized that i really do like harding. not just because the campus is beautiful (especially during these summer times when everything is green), not just because of the great people, friends, and relationships i have gained while being here; but because it really is a good school.
it might not be the greatest school and it might have some ridiculous rules, but its a good school.
its hard to really see that during the school year with class work and friends to cloud the picture.
but when walking through an almost empty building, you recall the feelings of walking through those halls for class, the good and bad times spent in those classes, the teacher you had, the friends you made...
summer after freshman year i almost transferred...it was actually something i gave alot of thought.
im glad i didnt. ... i would have enjoyed the other school and good memories and relationships and friends would have been made there too ... but im glad i stayed
i wouldnt have it any other way
it might not be the greatest school and it might have some ridiculous rules, but its a good school.
its hard to really see that during the school year with class work and friends to cloud the picture.
but when walking through an almost empty building, you recall the feelings of walking through those halls for class, the good and bad times spent in those classes, the teacher you had, the friends you made...
summer after freshman year i almost transferred...it was actually something i gave alot of thought.
im glad i didnt. ... i would have enjoyed the other school and good memories and relationships and friends would have been made there too ... but im glad i stayed
i wouldnt have it any other way
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
one of the greatest songs ever written by man
Well I don't know if I'm wrong
Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by excellent breed of gamete disease
I'm sure when I'm older I'll know what that means
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Here's to the man with his face in the mud
And an overcast play just taken away
From the lover's in love at the centre of stage yeah
Loving is fine if you have plenty of time
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind
Loving is good if your dick's made of wood
And the dick left inside only half understood her
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away yeah
What makes him stall, what makes him stand
And what shakes the elephant now
And what makes a man?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know you any more
No, no, no, no...
I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause shes only just gone
Why the fuck is this day taking so long
I was a lover of time and once she was mine
I was a lover indeed, I was covered in weed
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Well closer to god is the one who's in love
And I walk away cause I can
Too many options may kill a man
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind
But I've fucked it up now, too many times
Loving is good if it's not understood
Yeah, but I'm the professor
And feel that I should know
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away and
What makes him tick apart from him prick
And the lonelier side of the jealousy stick
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Hell I don't know you any more
No, no, no no...
Well I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease
I finished it off with some French wine and cheese
La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi
Et je pense que je l'aime des fois
Le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
Quand on est ensemble
Mettre les mots
Sur la petite dodo
Damien Rice--The Professor
Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by excellent breed of gamete disease
I'm sure when I'm older I'll know what that means
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Here's to the man with his face in the mud
And an overcast play just taken away
From the lover's in love at the centre of stage yeah
Loving is fine if you have plenty of time
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind
Loving is good if your dick's made of wood
And the dick left inside only half understood her
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away yeah
What makes him stall, what makes him stand
And what shakes the elephant now
And what makes a man?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know you any more
No, no, no, no...
I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause shes only just gone
Why the fuck is this day taking so long
I was a lover of time and once she was mine
I was a lover indeed, I was covered in weed
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Well closer to god is the one who's in love
And I walk away cause I can
Too many options may kill a man
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind
But I've fucked it up now, too many times
Loving is good if it's not understood
Yeah, but I'm the professor
And feel that I should know
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away and
What makes him tick apart from him prick
And the lonelier side of the jealousy stick
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Hell I don't know you any more
No, no, no no...
Well I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease
I finished it off with some French wine and cheese
La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi
Et je pense que je l'aime des fois
Le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
Quand on est ensemble
Mettre les mots
Sur la petite dodo
Damien Rice--The Professor
Monday, May 4, 2009
the closing of another school year
wow...it is finals week of spring semester already
crazy how time passes. at some points moving sooo quickly, and i some points taking forever to pass. this semester/year has seemed long, yet at the same time i cant believe it is already over.
oh man.
finals week is upon us.
i have already taken one test....none tomorrow (just studying and packing for me)...and then 2 on wednesday and two on thursday and i am out of here!!
home for almost 2 days to celebrate my birthday (MAY 8TH!!! 21!) and then back to searcy to leave for scotland and england.
i am so excited!
this has been a crazy semester. lots of drama. but even more good times. and i have made some great relationships this year/semester. ones that i hope i will never loose!
also, 7 minutes then it is my bedtime, so i am out. just a short sweet post :)
crazy how time passes. at some points moving sooo quickly, and i some points taking forever to pass. this semester/year has seemed long, yet at the same time i cant believe it is already over.
oh man.
finals week is upon us.
i have already taken one test....none tomorrow (just studying and packing for me)...and then 2 on wednesday and two on thursday and i am out of here!!
home for almost 2 days to celebrate my birthday (MAY 8TH!!! 21!) and then back to searcy to leave for scotland and england.
i am so excited!
this has been a crazy semester. lots of drama. but even more good times. and i have made some great relationships this year/semester. ones that i hope i will never loose!
also, 7 minutes then it is my bedtime, so i am out. just a short sweet post :)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
my life
...
not good enough for boys
not good enough for the musical
too bad everyone else i know is good enough to be cast in the musical
and everyone else is liked
and everyone else is happy
tonight i am not happy
but its fine
i'll pretend to be happy later
im glad school is almost over...that will be a good day
not good enough for boys
not good enough for the musical
too bad everyone else i know is good enough to be cast in the musical
and everyone else is liked
and everyone else is happy
tonight i am not happy
but its fine
i'll pretend to be happy later
im glad school is almost over...that will be a good day
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
dear kris (and anyone else wondering)
i was serious (not sarcastic) in that last blog
i wanted to be secretary so i am actually excited and thankful
:-)
also, i think we have awesome new club officers who (at least at the moment) seem very dedicated to helping make this club great...or at least work its way up from what it has been in the past.
last year's officers did a great job at getting some things done and trying, and i think this next year will be even better
lets make cp/apo something people actually WANT to be a part of!!
(alright, my speech is over now)
i wanted to be secretary so i am actually excited and thankful
:-)
also, i think we have awesome new club officers who (at least at the moment) seem very dedicated to helping make this club great...or at least work its way up from what it has been in the past.
last year's officers did a great job at getting some things done and trying, and i think this next year will be even better
lets make cp/apo something people actually WANT to be a part of!!
(alright, my speech is over now)
Monday, April 27, 2009
thank you
dear members of cp/apo
thank you for voting me your secretary for the 2009-2010 school year
love
megan
thank you for voting me your secretary for the 2009-2010 school year
love
megan
Thursday, April 23, 2009
un-writable
so much to say, no words to say them with.
there are things i want to say, but cant because of other eyes
there are things i want to say, but cant because i wouldnt know how
there are things that i dont even know i want to say but that are there
so instead of saying any of them, here are some lyrics from a song that i very much enjoy
Sometimes in the morning i am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs i know i can't breath
And hope someone will help me this time
Your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that godnever blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying
And sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absense
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be be better you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter
Or son and a real good friend
And you'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest you'll be brave
You'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them...
A Better Son / Daughter
Rilo Kiley
there are things i want to say, but cant because of other eyes
there are things i want to say, but cant because i wouldnt know how
there are things that i dont even know i want to say but that are there
so instead of saying any of them, here are some lyrics from a song that i very much enjoy
Sometimes in the morning i am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs i know i can't breath
And hope someone will help me this time
Your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that godnever blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying
And sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absense
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be be better you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter
Or son and a real good friend
And you'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest you'll be brave
You'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them...
A Better Son / Daughter
Rilo Kiley
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
oh my life
soooooo i will be a happy person when this website design for internet comm class is DONE!!!
uuuhhhhh i can not even begin to explain.
i am very ready for school to be over!
on the 8th of may i will be turning 21!!!!
on that day i get to see RENT (again) with my wonderful friend james from home!!
and his b-day is two days before mine so it will be a birthday celebration for the both of us!!!! YIPPIE!!
then on the 10th of may i will be getting on a plane to go overseas to scotland and england for PIPER TOUR!!!!
i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo freakin excited about that trip, i can hardly believe it is coming up so soon!!!!
it will be a good weekend.
rent and overseas wonderfulness....
:-D
..................................
i just have to survive the semester
and hopefully get some grades up...
i would like to end with A's and B's....*cross some fingers*
uuuhhhhh i can not even begin to explain.
i am very ready for school to be over!
on the 8th of may i will be turning 21!!!!
on that day i get to see RENT (again) with my wonderful friend james from home!!
and his b-day is two days before mine so it will be a birthday celebration for the both of us!!!! YIPPIE!!
then on the 10th of may i will be getting on a plane to go overseas to scotland and england for PIPER TOUR!!!!
i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo freakin excited about that trip, i can hardly believe it is coming up so soon!!!!
it will be a good weekend.
rent and overseas wonderfulness....
:-D
..................................
i just have to survive the semester
and hopefully get some grades up...
i would like to end with A's and B's....*cross some fingers*
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
spring sing
united we stand, divided we fall.
well we only have to stand united for 3 more shows!
im sooo tired. i mean, i know that i am not out there on the stage dancing...but we are running the show the entire time back stage and getting clubs in and out and so on. there an hour at least before and who knows how long after. blah. im glad i get paid :-)
also, i will not want to blow up another balloon or hear another balloon POP for a long time after spring sing!!
scapin is this week...hope they all do wonderfully this week! i cant see it till next week. so im glad they are having shows next weekend so spring singers can come to the show. i am very excited to see it!!
i want to sleep....we should get a long weekend after spring sing.
really this is random, but i just felt a need to blog
well we only have to stand united for 3 more shows!
im sooo tired. i mean, i know that i am not out there on the stage dancing...but we are running the show the entire time back stage and getting clubs in and out and so on. there an hour at least before and who knows how long after. blah. im glad i get paid :-)
also, i will not want to blow up another balloon or hear another balloon POP for a long time after spring sing!!
scapin is this week...hope they all do wonderfully this week! i cant see it till next week. so im glad they are having shows next weekend so spring singers can come to the show. i am very excited to see it!!
i want to sleep....we should get a long weekend after spring sing.
really this is random, but i just felt a need to blog
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
j'aime le francais
i went to the french bible study tonight and really enjoyed.
while its true that i didnt understand every word i sang, or every word they read from the bible section (although, i did have my english bible right there beside me too), i enjoyed it.
i want to keep taking french class (which i intend on doing while im here)
i want to be fluent in french!
i want to go to France!
i really want to go on the summer french campaign next summer!!
i am going to do everything i can to go on that french campaign next summer. that is my goal for the future.
while its true that i didnt understand every word i sang, or every word they read from the bible section (although, i did have my english bible right there beside me too), i enjoyed it.
i want to keep taking french class (which i intend on doing while im here)
i want to be fluent in french!
i want to go to France!
i really want to go on the summer french campaign next summer!!
i am going to do everything i can to go on that french campaign next summer. that is my goal for the future.
L'espoir est le rêve d'une âme éveille
Thursday, March 26, 2009
today
sooo today i woke up after sleeping for FOURTEEN HOURS!!
i went to take a nap at 6...and didnt really wake up till 8 the next morning.
crazy.
i have the hiccups right now
also i want apple juice
i got to talk to my friend lucas tonight. that was nice. havent heard from him in awhile. he is coming into town this weekend and i wont even be here. sad.
but i am looking forward to going home. that will be nice. also sad austin wont be able to join me, but there is lots of laundry to do, so eh, i can do that.
greys anatomy was SO good tonight!!! the final scene (for those of you that havent seen it i wont spoil) was the cutes and best thing ever!! so good.
i am ready for summer...i think this summer i will read "angels & demons"
the end
i went to take a nap at 6...and didnt really wake up till 8 the next morning.
crazy.
i have the hiccups right now
also i want apple juice
i got to talk to my friend lucas tonight. that was nice. havent heard from him in awhile. he is coming into town this weekend and i wont even be here. sad.
but i am looking forward to going home. that will be nice. also sad austin wont be able to join me, but there is lots of laundry to do, so eh, i can do that.
greys anatomy was SO good tonight!!! the final scene (for those of you that havent seen it i wont spoil) was the cutes and best thing ever!! so good.
i am ready for summer...i think this summer i will read "angels & demons"
the end
Sunday, March 22, 2009
titles are over-rated
all i wanted to say is that this weekend was good.
i mean, i didnt do any school work, so that wasnt necessarily good. but honestly, who likes doing schooling on the weekend? certainly not me.
friday night started out quiet, but yay for austin calling me and ending that quiet night.
so i hung out with friends all friday and saturday and then sunday till 7 when i finally came home and chilled in my living room. which is what i am currently doing.
it was good.
i like just hanging out and being with people i like.
thats all :-)
i mean, i didnt do any school work, so that wasnt necessarily good. but honestly, who likes doing schooling on the weekend? certainly not me.
friday night started out quiet, but yay for austin calling me and ending that quiet night.
so i hung out with friends all friday and saturday and then sunday till 7 when i finally came home and chilled in my living room. which is what i am currently doing.
it was good.
i like just hanging out and being with people i like.
thats all :-)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
what comments do...
"...i love you and God loves you. be His best friend for a while, see who else he brings into your life!"
this was part of a comment posted by a friend in reference to my last mopey (mo-pee) blog.
thanks friend
this was one of the best comments you could have sent me. in fact, i always like your comments. but me liking your comments is besides the point.
the point is that you are right.
i really need to crack down on myself for the rest of the semester, and really just starting now until the rest of always.
i need to focus.
focus on school. force myself to work work work.
focus on health. set time to work out and be healthy and actually stick to it!
focus on sleep discipline. do school and working out and everything else in a timely manner so sleep can ensue before 2 a.m. (obviously that wont happen tonight). stick to a cut off time. getting sleep makes me happy...therefore i should actually get some!
most importantly
focus on god.
i have realized that i talk to god when i need something or when something is going well and i want it to continue, or when i want something from god, or because a situation is...however it happens to be. and while talking to him for those things is a good thing and i shouldn't stop doing that; that shouldn't be the only reason i pray or spend time with him.
the sermon today at church was about walking with god. while i cant remember the catchy acronym he had for WALK, i did retain the important fact that walking with god is a constant, everyday, and every situation activity.
and while i know that, and have known that and heard that before, today with other recent thoughts it just hit me harder. it actually hit home for me today.
god should be involved in everything i do.
i should pray to him always, for everything. walking to class, going to bed, when there is a problem, when there is a praise, when i need to tell someone something, when i have a spare minute in the day.
i should read his word. god cant talk to us if we arent reading what he is saying. god cant be a part of our lives if we dont know how we can have him in our lives. you cant walk and abide in god if you are not reading and abiding in his word. how can i claim to be a christian and claim to be living in christ if i dont know what god has to say about the matter. when i dont read how to do that and i dont read what he has written and preserved for us to know. the wisdom and knowledge it takes to do that.
so here goes trying
here goes re-building my life
here goes disciplining myself and constantly having to strive and push for what i want.
here goes becoming best friends with god (and becoming a better 'me' in the process)
pray for me. i'll be trying, but it will be hard.
xoxo
this was part of a comment posted by a friend in reference to my last mopey (mo-pee) blog.
thanks friend
this was one of the best comments you could have sent me. in fact, i always like your comments. but me liking your comments is besides the point.
the point is that you are right.
i really need to crack down on myself for the rest of the semester, and really just starting now until the rest of always.
i need to focus.
focus on school. force myself to work work work.
focus on health. set time to work out and be healthy and actually stick to it!
focus on sleep discipline. do school and working out and everything else in a timely manner so sleep can ensue before 2 a.m. (obviously that wont happen tonight). stick to a cut off time. getting sleep makes me happy...therefore i should actually get some!
most importantly
focus on god.
i have realized that i talk to god when i need something or when something is going well and i want it to continue, or when i want something from god, or because a situation is...however it happens to be. and while talking to him for those things is a good thing and i shouldn't stop doing that; that shouldn't be the only reason i pray or spend time with him.
the sermon today at church was about walking with god. while i cant remember the catchy acronym he had for WALK, i did retain the important fact that walking with god is a constant, everyday, and every situation activity.
and while i know that, and have known that and heard that before, today with other recent thoughts it just hit me harder. it actually hit home for me today.
god should be involved in everything i do.
i should pray to him always, for everything. walking to class, going to bed, when there is a problem, when there is a praise, when i need to tell someone something, when i have a spare minute in the day.
i should read his word. god cant talk to us if we arent reading what he is saying. god cant be a part of our lives if we dont know how we can have him in our lives. you cant walk and abide in god if you are not reading and abiding in his word. how can i claim to be a christian and claim to be living in christ if i dont know what god has to say about the matter. when i dont read how to do that and i dont read what he has written and preserved for us to know. the wisdom and knowledge it takes to do that.
so here goes trying
here goes re-building my life
here goes disciplining myself and constantly having to strive and push for what i want.
here goes becoming best friends with god (and becoming a better 'me' in the process)
pray for me. i'll be trying, but it will be hard.
xoxo
Friday, March 13, 2009
self discovery
so this is a theory i have about...me
i dont make a very good best friend.
ive decided
i just dont think i have what it takes to be one. whatever that is.
i can have good friends or close friends for a while and then...they find someone...better. or someone that they can always be friends with and its always good. or whatever. i dont even know
i dont know why or what it is
i just dont think im...cabable. or whatever.
its like im one of those "part of the group" friends. but thats it. just there because somehow im a part.
i didnt say this was a very fully developed theory.
theory non the less
a theory that i see proving itself true too many times.
i dont make a very good best friend.
ive decided
i just dont think i have what it takes to be one. whatever that is.
i can have good friends or close friends for a while and then...they find someone...better. or someone that they can always be friends with and its always good. or whatever. i dont even know
i dont know why or what it is
i just dont think im...cabable. or whatever.
its like im one of those "part of the group" friends. but thats it. just there because somehow im a part.
i didnt say this was a very fully developed theory.
theory non the less
a theory that i see proving itself true too many times.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Spring Break so far
friday i went to OC to see my friend carla and their spring sing. it was a great weekend. carla's club, iota kappa phi, did SOOOOO well!!! they won 4 faculty awards (half, and the best half) and they got 2nd over all!!! w000t! and its only the club's second year. they are pretty much amazing.
but yeah. i got to see that and see her and other cool people. and it was great. i love oc. really do. so that was fun.
then i went home for a few days and slept.
lots of sleeping.
i like sleeping. its great.
now its wednesday night and i am with the rest of the gang (kevin, kris, stephen, courtney, amber, ashley, and mary) in eustace texas at ashley's house. tonight was just church, movie, and friends. quiet, but nice night. its going to be a fun and interesting next couple of days.
tomorrow night we are going to purgatory. yay.
also, i love kevin
now, bye bye
xoxo
but yeah. i got to see that and see her and other cool people. and it was great. i love oc. really do. so that was fun.
then i went home for a few days and slept.
lots of sleeping.
i like sleeping. its great.
now its wednesday night and i am with the rest of the gang (kevin, kris, stephen, courtney, amber, ashley, and mary) in eustace texas at ashley's house. tonight was just church, movie, and friends. quiet, but nice night. its going to be a fun and interesting next couple of days.
tomorrow night we are going to purgatory. yay.
also, i love kevin
now, bye bye
xoxo
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Dear Megan (thaaaaaat's me)
dear megan,
1) you can not do it all. one life is not long enough.
2) spring break is just two days away. STUDY for this test tomorrow! and stay FOCUSED!
3) trust god. he hears/answers prayers but he also has his own timing.
4) hang out with adam more often. lunch was fun.
5) be a servant. love your friends. love your "neighbors." love everyday god gives you (or...something about everyday god gives you)
6) spring break will be fun! yay!
7) MAIL CAMPAIGN LETTERS!
very sincerely,
yourself
1) you can not do it all. one life is not long enough.
2) spring break is just two days away. STUDY for this test tomorrow! and stay FOCUSED!
3) trust god. he hears/answers prayers but he also has his own timing.
4) hang out with adam more often. lunch was fun.
5) be a servant. love your friends. love your "neighbors." love everyday god gives you (or...something about everyday god gives you)
6) spring break will be fun! yay!
7) MAIL CAMPAIGN LETTERS!
very sincerely,
yourself
Monday, March 2, 2009
the price you pay
sooo getting caught up at school means not being able to do anything else...like watch tv...grays anatomy for instance.
oh dear oh dear.
BUT good news is that i believe i am almost caught up...
then after that i should be able to do other things...that arent school related :-)
today hasnt been the funnest day. but its been a productive day.
also today involved making a to-do list and getting class notes finally organized :-) doing these things made me happy
oh dear oh dear.
BUT good news is that i believe i am almost caught up...
then after that i should be able to do other things...that arent school related :-)
today hasnt been the funnest day. but its been a productive day.
also today involved making a to-do list and getting class notes finally organized :-) doing these things made me happy
Sunday, March 1, 2009
"the secondary people"
in Elizabethtown this is what she called herself and him.
yep.
but good movie. might watch it.
yep.
but good movie. might watch it.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
piper tour donts
something that is not so fun on piper tour:
getting sick!
wednesday around...oohhh noon i started feeling bad. then on the way to dinner (in the bus...so literally on the way) i had keith pull the van over so i could throw up.
and that happened a few more times that night.
luck for me dinner was at a doctors house. so he gave me medicine and i slept at their house that night.
woke up at 12 noon.
went to WATCH the last two piper shows.
then we came home.
tomorrow we have another day of pipers in memphis!! im glad i feel well enough to actually participate tomorrow.
innercity highschool theatre kids....should be fun ;-)
getting sick!
wednesday around...oohhh noon i started feeling bad. then on the way to dinner (in the bus...so literally on the way) i had keith pull the van over so i could throw up.
and that happened a few more times that night.
luck for me dinner was at a doctors house. so he gave me medicine and i slept at their house that night.
woke up at 12 noon.
went to WATCH the last two piper shows.
then we came home.
tomorrow we have another day of pipers in memphis!! im glad i feel well enough to actually participate tomorrow.
innercity highschool theatre kids....should be fun ;-)
Sunday, February 22, 2009
couch vs floor
as me and austin were sitting on the couch tonight, we noticed a fun little trend (well, a trend of that night anyway)...
on the couch (and kevin was on a chair), were sitting the single people
on the floor/"the sea" as austin called it, were all the couples
...well thats not true, courtney was on the floor...besides the point
anyway. that was the observation. "couples" on the floor, single people not.
it was an interesting observation.
also interesting was my comment afterwards which mentioned me needing to hang out with new people...which i of course was kidding. but still. sometimes i just wonder when it will be my turn. i wonder how much longer it will be for i join "the sea." i wonder what events in my life will lead me to someone who i can sit on the floor with.
but, while i might make sarcastic remarks when my friends say cute, gushy things about their growing relationships, i am honestly happy for each and every one of them.
it makes me happy to see the 'couples' that are forming. because they fit. the people are good together. they complement each other. they are happy and with good people, and knowing that makes me glad for them. they deserve it. they all deserve it.
and i also like that we are all friends. that we are forming a wonderful group and the relationships are building it up instead of tearing it down. it is so good to see and be a part of a group of friends like the group i have.
i wouldnt trade them for anything.
ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE:
this weekend was my roadtrip to michigan to see RENT!!
jordan unfortunately couldnt come because she got sick, but we printed off a picture of her and took her everywhere we went :-) so she was there in spirit. haha. the trip was LONG. and the snow once we got up north was PLENTIFUL (and annoying when needing to drive). but the show was GREAT. and the trip over all was GREAT. it was all very worth it.
this was one of those trips that you hear other people talk about and wish you could take yourselves. and we actually took it!! exciting!
i like that musical alot. cara and i are even planning on seeing it again in may when it comes to dallas.
i love my suite alot. they are the best girls to live with!
now its over though, and back to school.
so off i go.
back to life
on the couch (and kevin was on a chair), were sitting the single people
on the floor/"the sea" as austin called it, were all the couples
...well thats not true, courtney was on the floor...besides the point
anyway. that was the observation. "couples" on the floor, single people not.
it was an interesting observation.
also interesting was my comment afterwards which mentioned me needing to hang out with new people...which i of course was kidding. but still. sometimes i just wonder when it will be my turn. i wonder how much longer it will be for i join "the sea." i wonder what events in my life will lead me to someone who i can sit on the floor with.
but, while i might make sarcastic remarks when my friends say cute, gushy things about their growing relationships, i am honestly happy for each and every one of them.
it makes me happy to see the 'couples' that are forming. because they fit. the people are good together. they complement each other. they are happy and with good people, and knowing that makes me glad for them. they deserve it. they all deserve it.
and i also like that we are all friends. that we are forming a wonderful group and the relationships are building it up instead of tearing it down. it is so good to see and be a part of a group of friends like the group i have.
i wouldnt trade them for anything.
ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE:
this weekend was my roadtrip to michigan to see RENT!!
jordan unfortunately couldnt come because she got sick, but we printed off a picture of her and took her everywhere we went :-) so she was there in spirit. haha. the trip was LONG. and the snow once we got up north was PLENTIFUL (and annoying when needing to drive). but the show was GREAT. and the trip over all was GREAT. it was all very worth it.
this was one of those trips that you hear other people talk about and wish you could take yourselves. and we actually took it!! exciting!
i like that musical alot. cara and i are even planning on seeing it again in may when it comes to dallas.
i love my suite alot. they are the best girls to live with!
now its over though, and back to school.
so off i go.
back to life
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
the object of my affection
for those of you that have seen that movie...
...i kinda know the feeling
haha
my life
...i kinda know the feeling
haha
my life
Sunday, February 15, 2009
i couldnt ask for more
so yesterday was valentines day, and closing night for my show!
my valentine was austin jenkins, and my day was pretty perfect :-)
it started off by getting to sleep in till noon, which was awesome in and of itself.
then i woke up to notes on my mirror and a bag of kisses in my fridge from my valentine.
he wrote to leave my car in the ulrey parking lot by 1:30 and when i got back from doing that, i had more notes/quotes from him and instructions to be back at my car at 2.
so i got ready, and did as told.
when i got to my car at 2 i found a notebook on my windshield.
it contained a mix cd and instructions for the day.
(i also found his car for me to use, because he saw that i didnt have a cd player inside my car)
for all of you that have seen "elizabeth town," he made his own version of that for me (and since i LOVE that movie, it was wonderful!!)
the first thing was to just listen to the first track on the cd, and relax, close my eyes, and enjoy it. so i rolled down the window, stuck the cd in, and did so. it was "trapeze swinger" by iron & wine, and it was beautiful.
then it told me to turn the page :-)
i proceeded to travel to: the back of the reynolds (where i found a lovely poem),
the harding academy swing set, where i swang for awhile (which is one of my favorite things to do EVER),
i then went to kris and kevin's appartment, where i found the next thing/clue. and went back to car to listen to the cd and read what he had written me. which was the "alphabet of megan" and was 26 adjectives, and something written about each ones application, and it was beautiful. i could have cried :-P
then i went to the underground were we finally met and he had my favorite subway sandwich (sneaky jordan, figuring this out), and a sonic drink. so we had lunch and then watch "paris, je t'aime" which was an odd, but good movie, i will have to purchase it for myself.
It was wonderful!! i was so giddy pretty much the entire time. kris and kevin can attest to that fact when i went in asking for my next clue. haha. i loved it
we finished the movie about 5:30, so i had just enough time to grab my clothes for the last show and go see my mom and brothers who came in to see it.
then i watched the last performance of the show that i directed. i was so proud. it was really good :-) the whole process was stressful as ever, and i have definitely learned some things, had fun, had not fun, have things that i have learned i need to work on, but it was good. my cast was great, and my stage manager was amazing and kept me sane :-)
soooooooooooooo yeah.
pretty much it was a great day
and now that the show is over i will have a life back and NOT have rehearsals all the time!! yippee! (and the best part is, i see everyone in my cast usually on a regular basis because we are all friends anyway, so thats good tooooo)
AND this time next week we will be driving back from detroit after seeing RENT!!
my valentine was austin jenkins, and my day was pretty perfect :-)
it started off by getting to sleep in till noon, which was awesome in and of itself.
then i woke up to notes on my mirror and a bag of kisses in my fridge from my valentine.
he wrote to leave my car in the ulrey parking lot by 1:30 and when i got back from doing that, i had more notes/quotes from him and instructions to be back at my car at 2.
so i got ready, and did as told.
when i got to my car at 2 i found a notebook on my windshield.
it contained a mix cd and instructions for the day.
(i also found his car for me to use, because he saw that i didnt have a cd player inside my car)
for all of you that have seen "elizabeth town," he made his own version of that for me (and since i LOVE that movie, it was wonderful!!)
the first thing was to just listen to the first track on the cd, and relax, close my eyes, and enjoy it. so i rolled down the window, stuck the cd in, and did so. it was "trapeze swinger" by iron & wine, and it was beautiful.
then it told me to turn the page :-)
i proceeded to travel to: the back of the reynolds (where i found a lovely poem),
the harding academy swing set, where i swang for awhile (which is one of my favorite things to do EVER),
i then went to kris and kevin's appartment, where i found the next thing/clue. and went back to car to listen to the cd and read what he had written me. which was the "alphabet of megan" and was 26 adjectives, and something written about each ones application, and it was beautiful. i could have cried :-P
then i went to the underground were we finally met and he had my favorite subway sandwich (sneaky jordan, figuring this out), and a sonic drink. so we had lunch and then watch "paris, je t'aime" which was an odd, but good movie, i will have to purchase it for myself.
It was wonderful!! i was so giddy pretty much the entire time. kris and kevin can attest to that fact when i went in asking for my next clue. haha. i loved it
we finished the movie about 5:30, so i had just enough time to grab my clothes for the last show and go see my mom and brothers who came in to see it.
then i watched the last performance of the show that i directed. i was so proud. it was really good :-) the whole process was stressful as ever, and i have definitely learned some things, had fun, had not fun, have things that i have learned i need to work on, but it was good. my cast was great, and my stage manager was amazing and kept me sane :-)
soooooooooooooo yeah.
pretty much it was a great day
and now that the show is over i will have a life back and NOT have rehearsals all the time!! yippee! (and the best part is, i see everyone in my cast usually on a regular basis because we are all friends anyway, so thats good tooooo)
AND this time next week we will be driving back from detroit after seeing RENT!!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
OPENING NIGHT!!!
TONIGHT WAS OPENING NIGHT!!!
...yay...
the show went very well!
i am so proud of my cast and i love them and think they are great, and hope they dont hate me for putting on that director hat (especially towards the end) and being pretty straight forward....but i have always thought they were great and awesome! that is why i cast them! and i couldnt ask for more!!
sooo yeah.
opening night is done
that is a really good feeling.
now i just have to make sure things keep running smooth....because now its an actual show and everything is done and set and....yeah.
oh man
:-)
im just happy about it
...yay...
the show went very well!
i am so proud of my cast and i love them and think they are great, and hope they dont hate me for putting on that director hat (especially towards the end) and being pretty straight forward....but i have always thought they were great and awesome! that is why i cast them! and i couldnt ask for more!!
sooo yeah.
opening night is done
that is a really good feeling.
now i just have to make sure things keep running smooth....because now its an actual show and everything is done and set and....yeah.
oh man
:-)
im just happy about it
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
i hope those theatre tales are true
ya know how they say that if you have a bad dress rehearsal that you will have a good show??
well, i sure hope that is the case tomorrow.
tonight was dress rehearsal and...yeah. i almost started crying twice during my show (not that good kind of crying)....and i dont think ive ever been as stressed...
well, i get stressed alot...but this is pretty intense.
this is my grade! my grade!!!!
based sooo much on this i have no control over...
my life....
theatre....
directing....
i will be a happy person when its over (unless i get a bad grade...then i will be an eternally bitter person)
*LOVE*
well, i sure hope that is the case tomorrow.
tonight was dress rehearsal and...yeah. i almost started crying twice during my show (not that good kind of crying)....and i dont think ive ever been as stressed...
well, i get stressed alot...but this is pretty intense.
this is my grade! my grade!!!!
based sooo much on this i have no control over...
my life....
theatre....
directing....
i will be a happy person when its over (unless i get a bad grade...then i will be an eternally bitter person)
*LOVE*
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
and so it begins
so today started show week.
too bad school wont stop for this occasion.
too bad we dont have another week of rehearsal.
too bad sometimes i have to wait for my cast members to stop their own private conversations before i can continue to direct them.
too bad that in 3 days i have no more control over what happens in my play because they will be performing it for paying audience members.
too bad i havent been able to do laundry since i've been here...cara told me today that she might just end up doing it for me this weekend because she knows i have no time to get it done. haha.
too bad i have a test tomorrow in internet communication, and i have no idea what that teacher talks about in class...so this test should be fun. since i know nothing about anything he says. internet communication="WHAT?!"
BUT
after this week, im going to see RENT with my suite!
at the end of this week i am doing valentines day with a friend :-) im pretty excited about it. i have no idea what we are doing, but ashley said he has told her part of it and she said i will like it. so thats cool.
after this week i will have time to do school work. and hang out with friends. and sleep.
done complaining about life now
:-)
too bad school wont stop for this occasion.
too bad we dont have another week of rehearsal.
too bad sometimes i have to wait for my cast members to stop their own private conversations before i can continue to direct them.
too bad that in 3 days i have no more control over what happens in my play because they will be performing it for paying audience members.
too bad i havent been able to do laundry since i've been here...cara told me today that she might just end up doing it for me this weekend because she knows i have no time to get it done. haha.
too bad i have a test tomorrow in internet communication, and i have no idea what that teacher talks about in class...so this test should be fun. since i know nothing about anything he says. internet communication="WHAT?!"
BUT
after this week, im going to see RENT with my suite!
at the end of this week i am doing valentines day with a friend :-) im pretty excited about it. i have no idea what we are doing, but ashley said he has told her part of it and she said i will like it. so thats cool.
after this week i will have time to do school work. and hang out with friends. and sleep.
done complaining about life now
:-)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
missing him
so i just went to ex-bf's facebook to say hey (we are still friends, im not crazy stalker)...sometimes i really miss that boy. i mean, i am definitely ok with being just friends, and i know that is what needed to happen. i could see that pretty soon after breaking up.
still, sometimes i miss being with him, and miss what we had. we were friends before we dated, and so becoming closer just made it better. i liked that. i liked that he wrote music. i liked that he loved god. i liked that he would tell me he liked my hair when it was all crazy and messy. i liked that he used the word gorgeous when he complemented me. i liked that he was cute. i liked that i was dating someone i have had a crush on since 9th grade. i even kinda liked that we had dated before in h.s. i liked that the future didnt freak me out with him.
i liked all those things, and i miss all those things.
sometimes i just miss him.
but i am glad that we are still friends. and im glad that i have all of those things plus so much more to look forward to when i finally find that person i will spend forever with.
the day i find that is a day i am looking forward to.
until then i suppose i will miss him every now and then, be content with the joys my life currently has, and pray god doesnt wait too long to put that guy in my life
still, sometimes i miss being with him, and miss what we had. we were friends before we dated, and so becoming closer just made it better. i liked that. i liked that he wrote music. i liked that he loved god. i liked that he would tell me he liked my hair when it was all crazy and messy. i liked that he used the word gorgeous when he complemented me. i liked that he was cute. i liked that i was dating someone i have had a crush on since 9th grade. i even kinda liked that we had dated before in h.s. i liked that the future didnt freak me out with him.
i liked all those things, and i miss all those things.
sometimes i just miss him.
but i am glad that we are still friends. and im glad that i have all of those things plus so much more to look forward to when i finally find that person i will spend forever with.
the day i find that is a day i am looking forward to.
until then i suppose i will miss him every now and then, be content with the joys my life currently has, and pray god doesnt wait too long to put that guy in my life
Monday, February 2, 2009
dear dr. daggett
this gospel of john test will be ridiculous...
your class might just give me a stroke...
sincerely,
megan
your class might just give me a stroke...
sincerely,
megan
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
sometimes...
sometimes you just dont feel like you have what it takes. sometimes you dont feel like you are enough...
...and sometimes you are tired and need to shower and sleep...
...and sometimes you are tired and need to shower and sleep...
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Did someone order more time?
...yep! that was me!
sooooo this semester has been the busiest i've probably ever had! i have never had more things floating around/to plan/think about/remember/keep track of than i do right now! ALL in my head! ALL at the same time! soo many things!
for those of you that dont know; all of this is due to the fact that i am directing a play this semester and it goes up on valentine's day weekend. creeping closer and closer.
we started rehearsals as soon as the semester started and i hit the ground running and have yet to slow down (did i mention there was 17 hours of classes along with that?). its kinda stressing me out...and there have been some very pessimistic days...but i am trying to keep cool and tell my self to just chill!
but enough complaining about my life, lets talk about good things! keeping on the same track, my rehearsals are going really well!! my cast has been great so far! they listen to me and try things and patiently wait while i sometimes get off track or distracted with a note i need to give my stage manager :-) i love them all! all 6!
the first week we blocked the show...very rough blocking, but a base to work off of once we got into characterization. which is what we have been doing this week. breaking down the scenes and lines and putting as much life as we can into these people/actions. tonight was the last rehearsal for the week and we have already made so much progress on the scenes! especially for this week being the 2nd time we have rehearsed them, they are coming along so well! i am proud of them all!!
also in play world, the other two directors i am going up with and myself had a production meeting yesterday and got a lot of things settled for monday's production meeting, and i feel pretty good about where we are about "outside of rehearsal" things we 3 as a group need to get done.
ummm...yeah. really all thats going on in my life is theatre.
last weekend (1st weekend of school) we had piper retreat and that went really well, we got alot of new and fun things done!! which is exciting!
monday we had off of school. that was nice! so sunday night a group of us was able to hang out and not worry about anything except having fun. which is WAS super fun!
now however i MUST read and do work...the joys of having classes that you are actually required to read in due to daily quizes :-)
sooooo this semester has been the busiest i've probably ever had! i have never had more things floating around/to plan/think about/remember/keep track of than i do right now! ALL in my head! ALL at the same time! soo many things!
for those of you that dont know; all of this is due to the fact that i am directing a play this semester and it goes up on valentine's day weekend. creeping closer and closer.
we started rehearsals as soon as the semester started and i hit the ground running and have yet to slow down (did i mention there was 17 hours of classes along with that?). its kinda stressing me out...and there have been some very pessimistic days...but i am trying to keep cool and tell my self to just chill!
but enough complaining about my life, lets talk about good things! keeping on the same track, my rehearsals are going really well!! my cast has been great so far! they listen to me and try things and patiently wait while i sometimes get off track or distracted with a note i need to give my stage manager :-) i love them all! all 6!
the first week we blocked the show...very rough blocking, but a base to work off of once we got into characterization. which is what we have been doing this week. breaking down the scenes and lines and putting as much life as we can into these people/actions. tonight was the last rehearsal for the week and we have already made so much progress on the scenes! especially for this week being the 2nd time we have rehearsed them, they are coming along so well! i am proud of them all!!
also in play world, the other two directors i am going up with and myself had a production meeting yesterday and got a lot of things settled for monday's production meeting, and i feel pretty good about where we are about "outside of rehearsal" things we 3 as a group need to get done.
ummm...yeah. really all thats going on in my life is theatre.
last weekend (1st weekend of school) we had piper retreat and that went really well, we got alot of new and fun things done!! which is exciting!
monday we had off of school. that was nice! so sunday night a group of us was able to hang out and not worry about anything except having fun. which is WAS super fun!
now however i MUST read and do work...the joys of having classes that you are actually required to read in due to daily quizes :-)
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